How it Feels to Miss You
by Typewriter 15
Summary: Sirius Black has always hated Severus Snape. But, what happens when he begins to develop feelings towards his old school nemesis and, even misses him when Dumbledore sends him on a dangerous mission for the Order?


A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you enjoy this short little story. I love these two, and all of the characters belong to JK Rowling. If you like it, perhaps, drop by a review!

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><p><span>How it Feels to Miss You<span>

Sirius Black sat at the table, tentatively awaiting the members of The Order of the Phoenix to arrive at the evening's meeting. Sirius loved order meetings as it was the only source of company he got since being cooped up in his family home, and especially because he loved the chance to stir up his old childhood enemy, Snivellus. It had always been that way between them ever since they had laid eyes on one another; something about the man ticked him off, drove him to compete with him, and made him frenzied in his presence. It was like a blaze that couldn't be extinguished, and only intensified when the two came face to face. Sirius lived for these moments, especially considering how isolated he felt at Grimmauld Place. So why was he feeling so different now do you ask? So... apprehensive? It was because for the last few months his feelings had changed from wanting to hit and curse the man to acting flustered in his presence and saying some stupid insult before leaving. All because of some newfound emotion he couldn't comprehend. Then the dreams had started... sensual dreams that-

Sirius groaned and he banged his head on the table in frustration. Why did this have to happen now? Why did this have to happen at all?

"You shouldn't be doing that Black. Wouldn't want to break that pretty canine skull of yours would you now? Although it wouldn't be much of a loss I suppose" a voice sneered in derision.

Sirius' heart jolted at that voice. He looked up to see Severus Snape, sneering at him in his usual manner. Sirius flushed.

"Shut up Snivellus! At least I don't have grease dripping from my oversized nose!" Sirius retorted, looking down and glaring a hole in the table.

Snape grimaced and was about to say something unpleasant, when the other order members started to arrive, and soon the meeting began.

Sirius sat through the meeting, not really paying any attention to what was being said. He was in his own little world._ How fucking dare that greasy git!? He's just a massive slimeball is all he is! _Sirius thought infuriatingly. With an ugly hooked nose, pale skin, thin midnight black hair, gorgeous intensely dark pools for eyes... Sirius groaned inwardly. Suddenly, Sirius was pulled back to reality by those same eyes staring intensely at him. Sirius gave a tiny smirk, and Snape sneered at him and looked away.

Sirius continued to gaze at him, as his attention was now on Dumbledore. So caught up was he that he didn't realise someone talking to him.

"What?" Sirius asked quickly.

"I was merely inquiring if it was suitable to hold another meeting in two weeks time? Is that alright with you Sirius?" Dumbledore asked kindly, that damned all knowing twinkle in his eyes.

"Uh yeah...sure. That's fine Albus" he answered in agreement.

Dumbledore nodded, before all the order members started to disappear. Sirius sighed. He was literally screwed! No one knew about this. What would Moony say if he knew? How could he even tell him? Hey Remy, I've got it badly for Snape! Yeah that sounded like it would go down real well.

Sirius groaned...again.

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><p><em>Sirius was stalking Hogwarts' halls, invisibility cloak hiding his form. He was making his way to an empty classroom. Why he was doing so, he didn't know. He only knew that he seemed drawn to it. Upon walking through the door, he saw a slender boy with midnight black hair standing in front of a table, a cauldron in front of him and potion ingredients surrounding it. He was working intensely, chopping then stirring. Moonlight shone through the windows, highlighting his hair and casting light shadows over his face. His hands were small, soft and delicate, but strong and precise as he determinedly chopped up the next set of ingredients with finesse. His face wore not a sneer or any unpleasant emotion, but a small smile. He looked like he was at home doing what he was doing. He was so delicate. He was so skilled. He was so content. He was so beautiful...<em>

Sirius awoke with a start, breathing heavily, his hand running through his hair in an attempt to calm himself. Was that a dream? Yes he knew it was, but was it a scene made up by his suddenly Snape obsessed mind? Or was it an actual memory...

Sirius sighed. He didn't like this. Why had that memory decided to resurface now of all times? He had simply passed it off as unimportant at the time in his childhood. Grunting in frustration, Sirius rolled over, pulled the covers over him and attempted to go back to sleep.

The next couple of night's dreams were pretty much the same, although they extended the actual memory. His younger self would stumble upon Snape brewing a potion at midnight, in the abandoned classroom. His dream self would then just be content to watch peacefully as he his enemy worked. He saw the passion and intensity with which Snape carried out his work. Potions making was an art he realised, his art. And it made him look so much _alive_.

Something changed on the sixth night of the dream. It started out the same as all the others, but Snape suddenly looked up at him, as if he was aware of his presence even under the invisibility cloak, and smiled at him. Not just any smile, but a truly happy smile. His eyes filled with a certain warmth and light. By this stage, Sirius was aware he was dreaming and an unexplainable sadness suddenly filled him.

"Severus..." he whispered to himself.

"What would it be like if you were to really smile at me like that?".

Sirius awoke, breathing fast and the sadness still mounted on his heart. Severus? He had just called him Severus! Yes, he had finally realised this gorgeous creature had a name and it suited him. It was beautiful.

Sirius sighed. He was falling for him? Had fallen... but when!? He wasn't sure. But he felt all of this! He had always wanted to be loved, but could he love/care for Sniv- Severus? Scared and put out, he forced it to the back of his mind and squashed it down before going back to sleep.

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><p>For the next couple of weeks Sirius tried to act like nothing was up. Order meetings continued relatively the same way. Himself staring at Severus and Severus looking quizzically back.<p>

As one of the order meetings finished and everyone was leaving, Sirius made his way into the living room to say goodbye to a few people when he bumped into someone.

"Oops sorry..." he said genuinely, before he realised who it was,

"Snape..." Sirius voiced.

"Watch where you're going Black! I do not want to catch rabies!" Severus mocked.

Anger filled Sirius, but it was quickly squashed down by prevalent, new emotions. He was too close. Severus eyes were locked with his, and they were probing.

"Right...well I better go then. Bye Snape!" He said in a rush before he bolted through to the kitchen.

Severus looked after him, confused. Black was acting strange. And as much as he tried to deny it, he wanted to know why.

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><p>"WHAT!" Sirius barked, standing up abruptly, demanding eyes locking with Dumbledore.<p>

All the other order members stared at the two, confused.

"I sent Severus on the mission this morning" Dumbledore said softly.

"B-But, why this mission? It's dangerous! He could be killed! I could lose him!" Sirius yelled, not thinking, fear filling every fibre of his being.

Everyone in the order gasped as they stared at Sirius like they had never seen him before and Remus looked like he had been slapped across the face! But at that moment Sirius didn't care!

"Severus knew the risks Sirius. I have every faith he will succeed. We will all just have to wait for him to return in two days. Have faith Sirius!" Dumbledore provided tenderly, his eyes twinkling more than ever.

Sirius' breathing was heavy, and then reality once more came back to him. It seemed to be doing that a lot lately! Sirius looked around. Everyone was still staring, shocked. Remus was was stilllooking at him disbelievingly and Harry had his mouth agape! Sirius blushed a deep crimson. Mortified, he excused himself, before he turned on his heel and sped for his bedroom.

"Bloody hell!" Ron said, still flabbergasted. Hermione still shocked, nodded softly in agreement. And Harry...Poor Harry was still staring after Sirius, mouth still catching flies!

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><p>Two days later, some of the order members were was waiting at Grimmauld place for Severus Snape to return and find out the results of the mission. A loud bang resounded, and the form of Severus Snape aparated in the living room. He locked eyes with Dumbledore and nodded. Dumbledore smiled brightly. "Thank you Severus" he said tenderly, his eyes grateful. Everyone exchanged smiles and excitement, as they walked away, chatting happily. Plans were under way.<p>

Sirius could only stare. He was alive! He was ok! _His_ Severus was alive! As soon as Severus Snape locked eyes with Sirius Black the world tilted. Sirius launched himself at Severus, and embraced him tightly, burying his head into his shoulder. Severus caught his balance just, and stared at the man embracing him, completely stunned. "I'm so glad you're okay" Sirius whispered, thankfully.

Sirius lifted his head and met his eyes. Severus looked at him, eyes full of confusion and emotion. "What's going on Black!? Why would my safety be of any concern to you!?" he asked, puzzled.

Sirius glared indignantly.

"Do you know what I've been through the last few months! You scared me to hell and back!" he yelled exasperatingly.

Severus simply stared at him, not quite believing that this was Sirius Black.

"Why?" he asked seriously.

"Because... I was scared that I would lose you." Sirius confessed quietly, his voice so small and barely louder than a whisper.

Severus' eyes widened at this confession and Sirius looked up into the onyx pools he had missed so much. So many emotions flashed through them. Fear, disbelief, pain. "Severus..." he whispered, trying to find something to say to placate him. He couldn't manage to find the right words, so he decided to show him how he felt instead by slowly leaning up and taking Severus' lips gently in his own.

Both men moaned at the sweet contact and Severus gripped him tighter, bringing him closer. The kiss grew more intense and Severus responded to Sirius with fevor. He licked his bottom lip, and Sirius gasped, allowing Severus to plunge his tongue into his mouth. Sirius' legs faltered, but Severus held him up. When the need for air became too great, both men broke apart. Sirius gazed up into Severus' eyes hesitantly, his cheeks flushed. "When did this start?" Severus asked softly.

Sirius smiled. "I've had feelings for you for a while now, but I realised how strongly I felt about you and how I couldn't lose you after Dumbledore sent you on that mission" Sirius said contentedly. Severus gazed at him deeply, his eyes filled with a new hope, before he leant down to kiss Sirius tenderly. "Took you long enough" he whispered through kisses.


End file.
